UPDATE: THE BAPTIST BLOGGER HAS RECEIVED AN EMAIL ADVISING THAT DOROTHY PATTERSON HAS BEEN REMOVED AS AN ADVERTISED INSTRUCTOR FOR WOMST-3113-A FOR THE FALL 2018 SEMESTER. THE COURSE WILL NOW BE TAUGHT ONLY BY MISS CANDI FINCH. TO FIND OTHER COURSE OFFERINGS, CLICK HERE.
Cue the music while you read this post.
Southwestern Seminary is headed to Botswana this summer. Not the entire seminary, mind you, but the Women’s Studies program is traveling to the landlocked republic in Southern Africa for a conference on biblical womanhood.
Miss Candi Finch, who holds the Dorothy Patterson Chair of Women’s Studies at the Fort Worth School, recently announced her travel plans — and her fondness of cured pork products — to the Twitterverse on June 24th:
Accompanying Miss Finch into Sub-Saharan villages to proclaim the Gospel of Homemaking is the Former First Lady Emerita and erstwhile Waylan Owens nominator, Dorothy Kelley Patterson.
(Forgive us if we cannot help but conjure images from the Peace Corps scene in the 1980s classic film, Airplane!)
Indeed, Miss Finch and the Behatted One have been, and appear to remain inseparable. Finch accompanied Dorothy to Zurich, where they purchased bogus scraps of Palestinian parchment for millions of dollars. They collaborated on the 2013 “Christian Homemaker’s Handbook,” which comes complete with a Feminism Quotient exam to test your liberal leanings. Finch has served as Dorothy’s “Executive Assistant,” and together they have labored to retrieve the seminary’s homemaking degree from near-universal academic scorn.
If Dorothy ever actually made her own baked goods, Candi is the form of cookie she might have cut.
It now appears that despite the seminary’s termination of Paige Patterson and much-delayed eviction from the complimentary housing afforded the complementarian couple, Southwestern will be offering a course this Fall team-taught by Miss Finch and her mentor, Dorothy Patterson.
That’s right, beginning Monday, August 23, 2018, students may enroll in the Biblical Theology of Womanhood, an amplified and comprehensive study of womanhood in the Old Testament to provide the foundation for a non-contradictory pattern and plan for biblical womanhood. The three-hour course will meet in Scarborough 116, mere steps from the Presidential Suite.
Now can someone tell me why Dorothy Patterson is still listed as a professor for Southwestern courses, even after she’s been removed from the list of professors teaching in the School of Theology?
Perhaps this is an oversight and will be soon corrected.
Whatever the case, we can be assured that in Dorothy’s absence, her bizarre and eccentric theology of womanhood will doubtlessly be served up like hot buttered scones and Devonshire cream to the ladies enrolled in WOMST-3113-A at Southwestern this Fall.
Ponder that while you wait for the new and improved website currently in development, www.dorothypatterson.org.
Yes, breaking up is hard to do.