Today, the race for First Vice President of the Southern Baptist Convention has opened. Pastor Mac Brunson of Jacksonville’s First Baptist Church intends to nominate Rev. Jim Richards, Executive Director of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention. And while we love Rev. Richards to pieces, we are not convinced that his hour for convention office has arrived.
For a week now, Baptist Blogger has been mulling over the possibility of our making a nomination to this high and esteemed office. We’ve had considerable success in the past with our nomination speeches, so we determined to try our hand again at the process of determining convention leadership.
Today, I formally announce that I will nominate a trusted and loyal Kingdom servant to join Frank Page as First Vice President of the Southern Baptist Convention.
In this day of Southern Baptist uncertainty, our convention needs reliability. We need a First Vice President who knows what it means to wait patiently for the Master’s command. We need a First Vice President who understands the value of loyalty, and is content with any place of service in our convention.
My nominee has never been asked to serve on a board of trustees for the convention, though he has been thankful to observe many. Of all possible candidates, he knows more about the inside scoop on our convention, yet he has an unblemished reputation of gentleness and gratefulness. While some younger Southern Baptists look for choice seats and key appointments, my nominee has never asked for a seat at the table.
Yes, fellow messengers, when it comes to the office of First Vice President there are many qualified candidates. The only thing that distinguishes my nominee, however, from the other nominee is that my nominee is unashamed to tell you that he does what Paige Patterson tells him.
That’s right.
I nominate Noche Patterson to serve as our next First Vice President.
Thank you.
The Baptist Blogger 
Have you seen Noche lately? He might not pass the gluttony test.