Attention Southwestern Faculty…

Are you tired of trying to feed your family on the low income of a starting seminary professor?

Have you been thinking about getting back into a pastorate?

Do you wish there was something you could do to supplement your income and retirement?

Well, there is good news for you!!!

For little to no cost you can create a non-profit corporation in the State of Texas and begin to milk the teets of your own personal cash cow. All you have to do is file for the corporation, then start using your seminary-provided letterhead to circulate a brochure for your new evangelistic association.

Be sure and put your seminary-provided phone number on the brochure so when the big churches start calling, your seminary-provided switchboard can answer the calls.

When you start landing speaking engagements, have your seminary-provided driver carry you in a seminary-provided automobile to the airport, and then pick you up when you return. That way you can have the seminary pay the airport toll with your seminary-provided expense account.

Take seminary-provided photographers and news writers with you on the trip — all at seminary expense — and let the Office of Public Relations do a write up with seminary resources to promote your little business venture. If you’re lucky, you can get the folks over at Baptist Press to help you get more speaking engagements.

When you return from your speaking engagement, make sure and have the check cut to your evangelistic association so you don’t have to claim it on your income tax. In fact, you’ll be able to contribute to your own evangelistic association and receive a tax deduction to further minimize the tax burden from your $250,000.00 $37,000.00 per year salary.

Put your wife on the board as the only other director of the corporation, and find an accountant who will help you spend the money on “travel” for “ministry” to African safaris, or wherever else you’d like to go.

And if you have kids away from home, you can spend the money to bring them home for the holidays out of the association’s money, so long as you claim they are doing “research.”

It’s as easy as that!!!

If you have any questions about how to set this up, just contact your president or first lady. They’re quite experienced in this kind of thing. You can email your questions to:

ppatterson@swbts.edu

dpatterson@swbts.edu

Good luck, and Happy Hunting!!!

(P.S. — If you are a female professor, you might not be able to use seminary resources for long, so hurry now and reap the benefit while you can)