I’m thinking about sending the following letter first thing Monday morning.
____________________
January 22, 2007
Dr. Morris Chapman, President
Executive Commitee of the Southern Baptist Convention
901 Commerce Street
Nashville, TN 37203
Dear Dr. Chapman:
One of Southern Baptists’ boldest initiatives to promote a Christ-centered focus and a gospel-worthy commitment to cooperative missions has been the development of the Empowering Kingdom Growth division of the Executive Committee.
Leading this noble initiative has been one of Southern Baptist’s ablest servants, Dr. Ken Hemphill. His position was created at a critical time in the history of our convention, and his efforts have strengthened Southern Baptists’ resolve to pursue Kingdom-sized goals with a Kingdom-sized vision. No one could have anticipated the degree to which this ministry of the Executive Committee has outgrown its current office, and now finds itself at a providential moment of expanding its creative energies beyond the resources of one single administrator.
Would it not benefit the capable leadership of Dr. Ken Hemphill to have the privilege of an associate director of Empowering Kingdom Growth iniatives? Indeed, Southern Baptists would be well served by the recruitment of an additional staff associate to facilitate this convention ministry. A man who is able to gain the confident trust of our Cooperative Program constituents, able to listen and communicate effectively with all Southern Baptists, and who demonstrates openness and acceptance of all Southern Baptist member churches would fit well with the bold program developed and administered by Dr. Ken Hemphill.
With this in mind, I am forwarding to you the resume of Dr. Paige Patterson. I believe that Dr. Patterson would serve as an excellent addition to the Executive Committee staff in the role of associate to Dr. Ken Hemphill. No person in recent Southern Baptist history has been more effective at growing a kingdom than has Dr. Paige Patterson.
Won’t you consider creating an associate position to serve under the commendable leadership of Dr. Ken Hemphill, and don’t you agree that Paige Patterson is just the man for the job?
Sincerely,
BSC
Enclosure: Paige Patterson resume.
The Baptist Blogger 
:)
Why not throw in Dr. Dilday too?
:) Hahaha
I’d like to suggest to Dr. Chapman the following response. I’m certain that Ben would prefer it to be on X-Comm letterhead, so if anyone knows Dr. Chapman, let him know that this template is available when a reply is deemed appropriate. [Before anyone fires off a letter to the editor, this is ALL in fun; Dr. Chapman did not write this letter.]
Rev. Benjamin S. Cole
Parkview Baptist Church
Arlington, Tx
Dear Rev. Cole,
I read with great interest your recommendation of Dr. Paige Patterson to a potential ministry opportunity within the Empowering Kingdom Growth initiative. We all rejoice that the work of Dr. Hemphill has been blessed to the point of needed expansion both of office space and staff. We also are aware that any decision to increase this staff should be made with great care.
Having read Dr. Patterson’s resume and sharing it with Dr. Hemphill, we are left to conclude that he is simply too qualified for such a position. In fact, he may be the most overqualified candidate for such a position that we have ever considered. Additionally, the job description assigned to this role will not allow for extended time off for African safaris, and the office space available will certainly not allow for a herd of taxidermal specimens. So, it is with regret that we are unable to fulfill your request.
However, as it seems to be your thinking that there is at least a slim possibility that Dr. Patterson will be looking for a new position in the foreseeable future, I would like to recommend him to the Parkview Baptist Church as the new Associate Pastor. I happen to know that Dr. Patterson is well known by their current pastor having worked with him in the past. Also, since Parkview is located in Arlington, almost within eyesight of Southwestern Seminary, the move would be much less expensive than a relocation to Nashville.
Thank you for your recommendation and I trust that Dr. Patterson will have a long and prosperous ministry lifting up the hands of the pastor at Parkview.
In Christ,
Dr. Morris Chapman
Marty, I don’t think your suggestion would work. I mean .. does Parkview have Trustees, and if so, do they control anything but the property?