Into the heart of darkness…

Everybody’s favorite Joshua Converger and seminary professor, Dr. Brad Reynolds, has journeyed his way deep into the heart of Africa to a Nigerian village where he is teaching national pastors about the essential principles of Christian ministry.

Of course, I think it is commendable that Dr. Reynolds has traveled halfway around the world to assist in the theological education of Nigerian pastors, though I have to confess a certain degree of concern for the good professor’s strength in the face of certain compromise to his doctrine of personal holiness.

For those of you who haven’t seen the memorable excerpt from his charge to the Joshua Convergers, I am glad to provide the video feed here.

In his address, Professor Brad Reynolds shares his concern about girls who wear their garments “too low, too high, [and] too tight.” Moreover, in his inimitable declamatory style, Professor Reynolds asserts that the only proper place to reveal “breasts and briefs” is in “the bedroom of holy matrimony.” Indeed, I must concur that modesty and chastity are blessed virtues for those purporting to obey the gospel of Christ.

I am worried, however, that Professor Reynolds, having plunged into the heart of Africa, will suffer the exposure of his tender conscience to scenes such as these, courtesy of Harvard University archives.

Or perhaps the hope is to take the Joshua Convergence and its principles of appropriate Christian couture to Nigeria and beyond.

Godspeed, Brother Brad. And trust that we are all assaulting heaven in your behalf for strength to withstand the overwhelming offense of African tribal garb that you surely face in this quest to teach the nations.

Now here’s an interesting series of question:

What exactly did the Lord God cover on Eve just after the fall in Eden? Did he cover her entire body? Did only cover her reproductive organs, or did he cover more? Did he make a bikini or a maillot? Or perhaps he clothed her in something like these.  Or maybe those garments aren’t enough to guarantee female modesty.

Maybe Brad Reynolds can squeeze this out of Genesis 3:21. Or maybe even this.  I mean, we shouldn’t be toying around the edge of that which is “allowable.”  Not Southern Baptists.  We should be holding up the strictest standards for “holiness,” shouldn’t we?

Just how high should a lady’s neckline or how low should her hemline be cut? Did God make Eve apply the “fingertip rule,” to insure that her new garments were low enough?

I really wish somebody would tell us the answers to these questions, because the Bible just teaches principles of modesty rather than give centimeters for hemlines.

Kinda like the Bible only gives principles for temperance rather than percentages of alcohol content.

Making those culturally-relative issues of dress and drink a test of orthodox Christian holiness sure becomes a messy business.

Converge on, Southern Baptists.

Converge on.