Hyacinth Bucket recommended for SWBTS new degree…

hb Hyacinth Bucket is the leading candidate for the new “Mrs.” degree offered at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX. Born of common stock in the outskirts of London, Mrs. Bucket (pronouced Boo-kay) has made great strides to climb the ladder of British aristocracy. When referring to her home, she calls it a “manor.” When answering the telephone, she refers to herself as “the lady of the house.” Her very expensive Royal Doulton dinnerware — complete with hand-painted periwinkles — adds class and sophistication to her regular candlelit dinner parties. She requires that doors be opened for her, often drives from the backseat, is somewhat embarrassed by her brother-in-law, Onslow, and concerns herself with regular household dusting, cleaning, and sweeping to maintain the home for dignitaries and visitors at any moment. Always dressed in tasteful tapestried garments perfectly tailored to meet the demands of her fluctuating figure, Hyacinth Bucket knows that a lady must present herself as one if she is to be treated as one. She’s famous for her hand-written correspondence, and always careful to measure for the perfect placement of the first-class stamps on her envelopes. She refuses to open anything but first-class mail, and keeps her ear to the ground for any gossip that could justify her sense of superiority over her countrymen.

Some may think she is snobbish, uppity, completely ridiculous in her endless insistence on proper etiquette, and happily oblivious about the way her nonsense effects those around her; but we at Baptist Blogger feel that she is a perfect complement to the course objectives. Marie Antoinette she is not, building Versailles while the peasants live in dilapidated lean-tos. A benevolent soul she is, hiring the less fortunate to staff her dinner parties and attend to her matronly responsibilities.

Hyancinth Bucket is a lady of the first order, and while she may fall short on the virtue of quietude — booming and boisterous as she is when insisting on her way — her strengths as an exemplary homemaker far outweigh the odd little idiosyncracies that keep the whole neighborhood giggling behind her back.

It is with great pleasure, therefore, that we recommend Mrs. Hyacinth Bucket to fill the vacant faculty spot at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

3 thoughts on “Hyacinth Bucket recommended for SWBTS new degree…

  1. Absolutely one of my favorite television shows, and I love the fact that it comes on the public station with no commercials.

    You have now successfully planted an image in my mind. I’ll imagine dozens of budding Hyacinth Buckets inhabiting Seminary Village apartments and Carroll Park (if it still exists) keeping house and pretending to be “To the Manor Born”!

  2. I love British comedy! I can just see this lady trying to sell the seminary. She would desprately shove the college brochures in your face. Very funny.

  3. From my (limited) experience with pastor’s wives, I imagine that the degree is not necessary for indoctrination, but confirmation, of the status as lesser member in the denominational power couple…which in a few years will be required for service as a trustee (sorry Ben, unless you have a sufficiently domesticated spouse-to-be on the radar.)

    Perhaps this is not a new phenomenon: We never hear Peter’s wife complaining about all the traveling with Jesus and catholic (little “c” to be sure) church work…and we surmise that Paul advocates singleness for those devoted to God’s plans!

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